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frequently asked questions

Before you book

If your question isn't here, just ask directly — that's a conversation too.

how it works

1

Choose a free conversation, or a paid session — whatever fits where you are right now.

2

Book a time that works for you.

3

Receive your video link, sent directly from me.

4

Meet privately, wherever you feel comfortable.

5

Talk as much, or as little, as you want.

6

Decide afterwards whether you'd like to continue. No pressure either way.


about the conversations

Is this therapy or counselling?

No. Holding Space offers peer support and conversation — not psychotherapy, clinical counselling, or medical treatment. Many people find it works well alongside therapy, not instead of it.

Do I need to be gay, or is this LGBTQ+ affirming?

Holding Space is open to any man living with HIV, whatever his sexuality. It's LGBTQ+ affirming, and built to include everyone who needs it.

What can you actually help with?

I can be a steady, understanding presence for anything you're carrying — disclosure, dating, loneliness, family, or just the day-to-day weight of living with HIV. I've completed formal training in peer support and safeguarding. I'm not a therapist or doctor, so I won't diagnose, prescribe, or treat anything — and if what you're carrying needs more than a conversation can hold, I'll say so, and help you find the right person to turn to.

trust & safety

Is it really confidential?

Yes. One-to-one conversations are treated as strictly confidential, except in the rare case of a serious and immediate risk to your safety or someone else's. The full privacy & confidentiality page covers this in more detail.

if you're in crisis right now

Holding Space isn't a crisis service, and a session isn't the right place for an emergency. If you're at risk of harming yourself or need urgent support, please contact one of the services listed below right now — you don't have to wait for our next conversation. I'll still be here for the ongoing conversation once you're safe.

  • UK — Samaritans: call 116 123 (free, 24/7) · or text Shout to 85258
  • US — 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call, text, or chat 988 (24/7)
  • Canada — 988 Suicide Crisis Helpline: call or text 988 (24/7)
  • Australia — Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24/7) · MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78 (24/7, for men)
  • New Zealand — Need to Talk? call or text 1737 (24/7)
  • Elsewhere — befrienders.org or findahelpline.com list crisis lines by country. If you're in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.
Are sessions recorded?

No, not by either of us, and never without written agreement from everyone involved beforehand.

booking & logistics

Can I cancel or reschedule?

Yes — free of charge up to 48 hours beforehand. Inside that window, the session fee still applies, though I'll always use discretion if something genuinely unexpected comes up.

Is this available if I don't live in the US or UK?

Yes. Holding Space is run entirely online and open to men anywhere in the world.

Still have a question?

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